There's a single relationship in our life that is the foundation and root of all things that makes us who we are, shapes other relationship, and allows us to become the person we're meant to be.  That's the relationship we have with ourself.  It's not something that often crosses our minds when asked to think about relationships, but the relationship we have with ourself is fundamental in shaping every aspect of our life. 

Who are you? Now, that's a very dense question. But honestly, have you ever tried to define yourself? I mean so many things come to mind for me, but many of them are titles.  Daughter, sister, friend, student, blogger, etc. But take the titles away, take the hobbies away, remove society's definition, at the very center and essence of your being, who are you? It may not be possible to answer that question in one sitting and I believe the answer is dynamic, changing as we do. 

But no matter where we are in life, who we are, our past, or present, the response given to that question stems from the relationship we have with ourself. Everything and anything we hope to attain in life first begins with ourself.  The respect we have for ourself, the thoughts we ponder, the words we speak, the actions we undertake. These are the foundations of our life. Without a solid foundation we cannot build anything, we cannot go anywhere meaningful, and we certainly cannot become the person we're meant to be. 

So how can we improve the relationship we have with ourself? 

We are not perfect.
It starts by recognizing that we are not perfect and no one, I mean NO ONE on this planet is either. We have to learn to forgive ourself. We're human, we're flawed, but as long as we keep on trying we'll be fine.

​Get to know you.
​It's vital that we know ourself. I know this seems kinda simple, but on further review, it's not. This means spending time with ourself, solo, one-on-one time. We may even have to schedule this in, but we'll need to do this. Whether through active mediation or allowing our mind to ruminate over who we are for just 30 minutes. Open yourself up and allow the universe to help you answer some of the tough questions. 

​Observe ourself.
​As much as I love my "me" time I know I learn more about myself in the presence of others. Critically observe how you react to certain people, certain situations, events, places, words, thoughts.  This assessment opens us up for a deeper understanding of how we operate. Knowing this can help shape the way we approach life, people, and situations. 

Love ourself first. 
I always think of the safety guidelines on a plane: in the event of an emergency put on your oxygen mask first before helping others. That's what self love is. When we learn to love the person we are, we are better able to express genuine love and compassion to others. Sometimes it seems like we can't love ourself first, but that's not true. Loving ourself first doesn't mean doing what we want to do, all the time, every time.  It means respecting the person we are, all the time, every time. Self-respect is self-love. 

So go deeper, explore the vastness that is you. There in lies your best friend, the person you are, and the key to unlock your true potential. 

With love,